i'm back

it has been over 5 months since i last blogged

miss me?

yeah i didn't think so :P

i failed at nablopomo

attempting to blog everyday isn't for me

you're welcome

i started back to school in january

finally getting back to work

so happy to be off of unemployment

it was hard

and embarrassing

i felt judged

it's easy to judge when you're not in someone else's shoes

i learned a lot from the experience

it has made me strive to be better

there's always good

the timing of everything has been amazing

i feel extremely blessed

and old

i turned 27 in March

juggling everything when i was younger was easier
or so it seems

i decided on a major

i am excited about it

sort of

i have mixed feelings about school

it's complicated

maybe someday i'll write about it

i had my transfer school all picked out

i am rethinking that now

i like Nor Cal

So Cal might be a nice change though

there is work for me down there too

honestly though, i often think about leaving Cali

i don't feel i can right now {sigh}

bright side:

i went to the ocean for a couple days over spring break

it's less than 3 hours away

first visit in well over 10 years

i am embarrassed to admit that

and annoyed it's true

i loved it

my toes are craving the warm sand

i'm planning another visit soon

nice to know wherever I got for school there will be beaches

well, most likely

i'm a lucky girl

a busy one too
better get back to work


more soon

well, most likely
no promises

figuring things out

that's what i'm doing right now.

figuring things out.

figuring out where i am going.

how i am getting there.

what i want to change.

how i want to change.

who i want to be.

--

career

education

goals

hobbies

blogging

relationships

lifestyle

faith

--

so many things on my mind.

i'm feeling like this time in my life is very important.  that the decisions I make now and in the coming months will have a significant impact on the years to come.

that decisions i make now will shape me in so many ways.  help me.  make me stronger.  happier.  healthier.  more confident (i so need that!  especially after this weekend and my anxiety attack)

become a better person.

a better me.

i'm feeling optimistic about the future.

i still have days where i worry.  where i feel scared and stressed because of the uncertainty.

those clouds always pass though.

and then the future looks bright again.

it is bright.

tired and grumpy

the title of this post sums up how I'm feeling right now.  and how many people I encountered today were feeling.

i really don't feel like doing anything, but curling up on the couch and watching a show.

i have a few things I still need to do before that can happen though.

cleaning my kitchen will not be one of those things.

it's a disaster.

i spent most of the day yesterday re-organizing and getting rid of a bunch of stuff.  most of that was out of sight stuff, but my kitchen wasn't in bad shape by the time I had to call it quits.

after baking last night and making caramel corn tonight and the fact that I'm still in the middle of eating my dinner (yes it's after 11:30) it looks like  a my pantry and fridge exploded.

i have to babysit tomorrow.  then pick up my stuff from the craft faire (i'm hoping that I don't end up having an anxiety attack like I did tonight)

so cleaning won't even be an option until tomorrow evening/night, if I even have the energy at that point.

okay that's enough whining/complaining.

my eyes are getting heavier by the minute.

one of these days I'll have a "real" post.

i'm just not ready to give up on NaBloPoMo just yet.

i know...this is a pathetic excuse for a post.  it does count thought right?

baking, fairs, and babysitting

Once again I find myself typing out a quick, {boring} post for the day.

I am in the midst of busy evening/night.

I have my 5th batch of chocolate crackles in the oven.

I am participating in a craft fair on Saturday selling various styles of these:

Each vendor is required to bring: 5 dozen cookies (insane in my opinion!) and 1 handmade craft item of baked good for a raffle basket (my business partner is taking care of that)

 

All our products have to have hanging tags on them with our company name and price.  (The tags won't be 

dropped off to me until after 10pm)

I'm babysitting all day tomorrow so I won't have much time to get things done.  By the time I'm done with that I will have to go straight to set up for the event.

{I probably should have spent my day preparing for the event rather than going on an organizing and cleaning frenzy.}

I'm looking forward to babysitting tomorrow.  I haven't seen the kids since last Friday.  I have especially missed the baby.  She is the sweetest, most easy going, adorable baby.  She has a head full of thick dark hair.  Like I said adorable!

What I have not missed is hearing "Want to play trains" repeatedly from the 4 year old.  He's a cutie too though.  I just don't play trains very well.  {grin}

I'm babysitting for a few hours on Saturday too.  Luckily I don't have to be present at the craft fair.  They handle all the sales.  {I'm actually not thrilled about this.}  We have to provide an inventory list prior to the event {still needs to be done} so that makes me feel a little better.  Even if they didn't require one I would still do one.

Sunday the cable company is sending a repair man to my house.  Apparently I have a cable signal leak and it can effect marine and aeronautical radios and such so it has to be repaired right away.  I'm worried about how it may be effecting me and am wondering if that could be the reason I've had exceptionally crappy cell service lately {I do not like you AT&T}.  Maybe it's just that it's an iPhone4 and the reception is crap.  My grandpa is bugging me to get a case for it to see if that helps.  {he's buying.  woohoo!}

My final batch of cookies are done.

Gotta go! :)

{cat} paparazzi

I have a problem.

If you asked my cat, she'd tell you.
{Well, she would if she talked...to strangers}

I'm like the paparazzi.

{a very small sampling}

If she isn't ignoring me, she is usually running from me.

Sometimes I'm pretty sure she is rolling her eyes.

I can only imagine how many pictures I'll take when {if} I have children!

I worry for them.

loving fall!

That's right I am finally embracing and loving fall!

Just a couple months ago I was complaining about how I was not ready for summer to end {we actually had a few 100 degree days in September!}

However, things have changed and I am now officially loving the fall weather.  {Sunny 80 degree days can be considered fall right? ha!}

here are a few reason i love fall

beautiful colors in nature

getting away with not washing my car

baking without baking/roasting {it's cool enough to use my oven!}

thanksgiving {read: lots of food}

caramel apples

heated seats

working out  {so much more pleasant when it's not 100+ degrees outside}

new {to me} fall clothes

sweats and other comfy clothes

caramel corn {making not partaking}

hats

boots

trying to hit all the puddles while driving down my grandpa's dirt road

little to no yard work!

soup

hot chocolate

crisp, clean air

fall back {an extra hour of sleep, ha!}

via

lots of reason to love fall!

What do you love about the weather where you are?

2 down 28 to go.  (barely squeezed this in before midnight. whew!)

NaBloPoMo

So I've decided to jump on the bandwagon and participate in NaBloPoMo.  

Seeing as how I barely manage to compose one post a month (and let's be honest that one post is nothing to get excited about) the fact that I am going to try to post every day for a month should be...interesting to say the least.

Maybe it'll help me decide once and for all if this blogging thing is for me.

I've had a few posts bouncing around in my head.  That is almost always the case though.  It's the getting them out of my head and typed out, into words that make sense, that I struggle with.

I like a challenge though.

Speaking a challenges, I went to the gym tonight.  It's pretty bad when you walk in and the guy who works there says "Where have you been!?"  It was definitely embarrassing, but the more I think about it maybe I should be flattered?  Anyway, I digress, I challenged myself to run a mile without stopping tonight.

Now I realize that doesn't seem like much at all and for most people it would be/is a piece of cake, but for me...not so much.

I seriously haven't ran a mile without stopping since high school, sophomore year in high school actually (the final year I was required to take P.E.) and even then I hated every second of it.

I was doing pretty well until about the final 1/4 mile and then something started rubbing or poking me in the foot, not quite sure which.  I guess running without having really even having  walked in a new (to me) pair of shoes may not have been the best idea.  I did my best to ignore it and kept running though it and I can proudly say I finished!

I can't say it felt all that great though.  I ended up with a blister on my foot (I can't pinpoint if I fixed the problem or not because of the blister's presence now) and as soon I finished the mile I was useless.  I seriously thought I was going to be sick.  I went upstairs to lift some weights, but I pretty much just sat on one of the machines sipping my water.  I was pretty bummed because I really enjoy lifting weights and was looking forward to.  When I finally decided to stand up and attempt to do something I only felt worse, so I just drove my self home.  Pathetic!

I did meet my challenge though and like I said I am proud of myself for that!  Now that the nausea is starting to wear off I'm even beginning to feel pretty darn good about it.

Now let's see if I can complete the NaBloPoMo challenge.

I'm hoping it's painless (for me as the writer and for any readers)!

1 down 29 more to go!